Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Poem: Time with you

It's like time has rewound.
I smile like a teenager.
My infatiuation has changed into something else.

To you every sigh has meaning.
To me, we have meaning. Though I have not figured it out yet.
I think and think about you and me but I can't see what my come.
I live in a world of psychics and empaths. The possiblities are ever evident.

I have none of that with you.  I just have happiness and the knowledge that my past is my past and the future will unfold as it was meant to.
I know what I want.  I know where I want to be.

A good time to me. Your arms around me. The smell of your cologne and telling and hearing stories of our youth.  The excitement in your eyes when you talk about the things that are important to you is inspiring.  The look in your eyes when you see me, magical.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

I wish you all a Happy and Wonderful New YEAR!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Signs of the times.

I have been going on dates from time to time since July.  I've had some good times and some not so good times.  I have thought I was done looking once, but it didn't work out that way.

I've met someone that has my eyebrow raised and I think I am going to hang up my dating shoes for a minute and see how my relationship shoes feel.  The thought of being in a relationship again is scary. I tell myself that I am single for a reason, and that those reasons are sufficient to keep me from letting someone call me their "number one."

Time Will tell....then I'll tell you.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Anthropology - Sometimes I feel like such a nerd.


1. the science that deals with the origins, physical and cultural development, biological characteristics, and social customs and beliefs of humankind.
2. the study of human beings' similarity to and divergence from other animals.
3. the science of humans and their works.
4. Also called philosophical anthropology. the study of the nature and essence of humankind.

Every time I go out to dance and/or have drinks I love to people watch.  The more sober I am, the more scientific and analytical my observations become.  I also take into account my own reactions to the things I see.  A man in an ill fitting suit.  A woman in some heels that she is working, she knows she's working them and anyone that looks at her sees that she is working them and she is jamming like those things don't hurt.

My mind often wanders to the television shows that I have watched about animal mating rituals and natural and artificial means of attracting a mate.  Then I look across the room, across the dance floor.  As the Cupid shuffle begins to play and the women line up to switch, step and sway, I think about tribal dance and see painted faces, colourful clothes, "feathers", gems and other decorations.  I look to see the men looking over the women. Selecting a prospect? No. Admiring the works? Probably.  I often see men approach a woman after one of these displays.  There are a couple of dances that the men get up to strut their stuff, but more often than not it is the women that are looking to be seen and approached.

I've never been good at that kind of thing.  I enjoy dancing.  I prefer to dance like I'm the only one that cares what I'm doing.  This fact will one day be an embarrassment to my children, but it hasn't yet.  I must be a good dancer or they are bad.  I like to think I'm a good dancer.  I let the music take me off someplace happy and free.

Anyway.  I can wear makeup but prefer not to.  I have pretty jewelry and nice clothes.  I like to feel pretty when I go out.  I like it when someone looks nice because they know that I am going to be looking at them.  Just for me.  My "bait" is normally my voice, coupled with my mind.  I speak clearly, smoothly and have clever things to say from time to time.  I find that as long as I look at people as a curiosity and not a potential relationship, I can be pretty charming.  I also have a nice smile and extremely soft skin. I'm just sayin'.

I get such a kick out of watching other people talk and flirt.  I wonder what they are thinking about each other.  I try to figure out what their body language is saying.  Being a certified "road dog" I meet many people second hand. (pun?)  I pride myself on not being the first one ready to go.  I'm down to watch the whole spectacle.  Objectively or subjectively, it all depends on my level on intoxication.

Lately my level of intoxication has been very low.  So I notice more, but ignore just as much.  I am good for going to the bar to get a drink and barely noticing anyone I may pass.  I do, however, have to work to keep a soft smile on my face.  I tend to get deep in thought and start to look rather mean.

I notice the awkward looking guy holding his drink like a shield.  He seems to hope someone will notice him, but not too sure what he would do if they did.  I notice the beautiful woman with a nice body and cute dress that hates her shoes and looks mad for no obvious reason.  I notice the esthetically unpleasing guy with a beautiful woman and she looks happy and he looks like he would rather be home.  It is almost like a life action where's.......fill in the blank.

I've been dating.  So I've decided to join the "fun." I'm trying to get some words together to convey a some of what I've experienced.

More to come...

Facebook Update

I reactivated my Facebook account.I have found other ways to entertain and inform myself while on my break from it.

I had a few messages from friends that noticed I was back in their friend list.  I have not posted an update lately.  There is so much on my mind, I don't know what I want to share.

A friend of mine from work once told me that my Facebook status messages are all over the place.  One day they are deep, then funny, then just plain strange.  I was pleased to hear him say that, because that is me.  I'm not deep all the time.  I'm not funny all the time.  I am pretty strange about all the time, but I just don't let it hang out too often.  I am me. I think hateful things that I don't say. I do nice things that I don't talk about.  I think it is normal to be that way.  Though normal is not how I would describe much in my life.

I have noticed that I am not as into Facebook as I once was.  I would rather do something around the house.

More to come...