I am my mother after all.
I fight and fight not to but it happened anyway. My mother pouts when she doesn't get her way. So do I. She gets angry at the wrong people. Me too. Isn't the first step admitting that you have a problem?
As our gift to one another this Holiday season, she had my children for the majority of their winter break. They got out of school on Friday and they were delivered to her on Sunday. I went back to pick them up the day before they went back to school.
My house was very quiet. Half the time they were gone I got up at 6 - 6:30. I slept like a baby. Now that they are back, I can't sleep for checking on them in the night and they have to practically roll me out of bed to check their chores out before they leave for school.
When I went to pick them up I made sure to spend some one on one time with my mother to see how she enjoyed the visit.
She gushed about how helpful my daughters are and how they cooked and cleaned and took such good care of their baby brothers. I mentioned to my mother that my daughters don't often cook at home.
She said, "That's because you don't let them." to which I responded, "You said that I make them do too much."
That stopped that.
When she stayed with me for 4 weeks, she complained that I make my children do too much because they have chores that have to be done, daily. My home currently has more order and structure than it ever has and I like it that way. If I can only catch the trolls that are eating my spoons and leaving the mystery spots on the carpets, I'll be a happy woman!
I don't make them cook because I like to do it, but I will have them assist me. I also encourage them to experiment, but warn them to be careful. "You have to eat your mistakes". We have very little "quick" food in my house. It is part of the plan to eat like we have some sense. There is preparation that has to happen before you can eat. So hunger must have an imagination. If you have no idea what you want to eat then you must come up with something because there's no microwave dinner in the freezer. I find that it makes food a lot more personal. I have even decided to start to make our bread. It is so much cheaper and the kids like the taste. I can also experiment with different flavors and textures.
I was recently blessed with a bread machine and that is going to make the process easier all the way around. I just have to make sure to measure correctly. It is still a work in progress.
More to come...
About Me
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
And away we go!
My mom hates it here. She has complained about everyday that she's been here. Or, I must not be paying enough attention to her and she's showing out.
Mother as daughter.
She's decided that she wants to go home after 4 weeks at my place. I'm not too broken up about it because she wants to be in her own space, I can totally understand that.
We had a nice Thanksgiving at my older sister's house. My sister worked really hard on her home recently and wanted to get my mother's approval for the improvements. Before we left for my sisters, I took my mother to the side and sternly asked her to be on her best behavior.
Daughter as mother.
She gave me the all-too-familiar "What?! I don't know what you're talking about."
We arrived and my mother did "Oh" and "Ah" appropriately. We sit to chat around my sister's new dining room table. My mother gets herself comfortable as she looks around the room. My sister steps out of the room to check on the kids and my mother looks out the window to the back yard and says, "She needs to wash her windows!" I immediately shushed her. My sister didn't hear. Luckily, unlike a child, my mother fixed her face before my sister returned to the room. A good time was had by all.
I cooked up a storm! I stayed up late Wednesday night making candied yams, yellow cake with chocolate icing, sweet potato pie and cheese cake. I also made stuffing and green bean casserole. My sister made mac and CHEESE, potato salad, mashed potatoes, turkey, ham and greens. I can tell that eating like I have some sense has become a habit because I didn't eat until I was miserable. I nibbled quite a bit though. I didn't have some of everything that night. I understood that the majority of the leftovers was coming home with me so I knew that I'd get my chance. Even though I feed a small third world country every month. We cook and eat simple tasty food.
I think that's another reason that my mother wants to go home. We don't eat out. She's purchased dinner about 5 times since she's been here even though she has seen us stock up on the basics and knows how we eat. We have tried to please her as much as possible. She likes fish. We've had fish for dinner about 6 times in 4 weeks. Fried fish. We will probably have fish again tonight. It is Friday after all.
More to come...
Mother as daughter.
She's decided that she wants to go home after 4 weeks at my place. I'm not too broken up about it because she wants to be in her own space, I can totally understand that.
We had a nice Thanksgiving at my older sister's house. My sister worked really hard on her home recently and wanted to get my mother's approval for the improvements. Before we left for my sisters, I took my mother to the side and sternly asked her to be on her best behavior.
Daughter as mother.
She gave me the all-too-familiar "What?! I don't know what you're talking about."
We arrived and my mother did "Oh" and "Ah" appropriately. We sit to chat around my sister's new dining room table. My mother gets herself comfortable as she looks around the room. My sister steps out of the room to check on the kids and my mother looks out the window to the back yard and says, "She needs to wash her windows!" I immediately shushed her. My sister didn't hear. Luckily, unlike a child, my mother fixed her face before my sister returned to the room. A good time was had by all.
I cooked up a storm! I stayed up late Wednesday night making candied yams, yellow cake with chocolate icing, sweet potato pie and cheese cake. I also made stuffing and green bean casserole. My sister made mac and CHEESE, potato salad, mashed potatoes, turkey, ham and greens. I can tell that eating like I have some sense has become a habit because I didn't eat until I was miserable. I nibbled quite a bit though. I didn't have some of everything that night. I understood that the majority of the leftovers was coming home with me so I knew that I'd get my chance. Even though I feed a small third world country every month. We cook and eat simple tasty food.
I think that's another reason that my mother wants to go home. We don't eat out. She's purchased dinner about 5 times since she's been here even though she has seen us stock up on the basics and knows how we eat. We have tried to please her as much as possible. She likes fish. We've had fish for dinner about 6 times in 4 weeks. Fried fish. We will probably have fish again tonight. It is Friday after all.
More to come...
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Weight Update
I still don't know how much I weigh. Though trust me, I have not made a huge effort to find out. I finally got a message from the place where I normally weight and was informed that they will get back to me when the office is open again. That sucks. I keep drinking my water, taking my vitamins, eating my veggies and moving as much and as fast as I can. They will get an earful from me if/when they see me again. I went out there two weeks in a row and no one called me to let me know that they would not be there! That's just bad customer service. My time and resources are valuable.
Speaking of customer service. My mother has been here at Ches Coley for a week. She has been the hardest guest to please!
The timing of her arrival sucked because I needed to stock up on about everything.
She got here Saturday. My sister took my large vehicle so all of her misc. equipment could be transported from 130 miles away to my home. Meanwhile, I was put on the side of the road by my P.O.S. car ("piece of shit", for those unfamiliar with the expression) with a flat tire, broken axle arm and the startling realization that I was not getting to work any time soon. After a few phone calls and a couple of good Samaritans that couldn't actually help, the car got to the shop where I was not surprised by the total cost of the repairs. Bye Bye Emergency Fund.
I got home from work to find that my daughters have done me proud. My house is clean, my babies are in the bed and my mother has yet to arrive. She was not ready when they got there to pick her up. She said that she wouldn't be, and I tried to tell her that wouldn't be a good idea. People are driving 2 hours to get her and bring her to me. She didn't listen. She's 72 years old, bless her heart, and she will not be rushed. It's self-torture to try.
She got here so late that a light snack was all that was served. We got her as settled as we could at 10pm and relaxed while I waited for the other shoe to drop. It did the next day.
We got up and prepared breakfast for the family; when you have two toddlers in the house they don't care what day it is. They have to get up, be fed and entertained. We had to work it out with what was in the house for breakfast. I'm pretty good at working things out; No one went hungry.
I left my mother and sons in the care of my 15 year old daughter while I took my 13 year old with me and the One to get food for the house and other needed supplies. We were gone about an hour when my mother called me on my cell phone to ask if we had a plunger. "Why? What happened?" was my worried response. "I just need one." was her reply. Lord! Please don't tell me that I am going to come home to a flooded bathroom. I called my daughter back and asked her what was going on. She had no idea. My mother hadn't said anything to her about needing a plunger. I told her to look in the bathroom and give me a status report. All is clear. OK. Off to Costco!
After completing our run of the Costco and having a snack to keep me from passing out from starvation and dehydration, my cell phone rang again. "I'm hungry" my irritated mother said. "There's nothing to eat here." "We'll be home soon. I'll bring you something to eat."
Let me stop and tell you something about my home's food situation. There is very little quick and easy food. There are various components that can be combined in different ways to create a meal or snack. It is that way by design. There is fresh fruits, vegetables and always tuna, salmon and chicken for salads. You need imagination to eat in my house.
I brought her a turkey wrap. She said that the wrap was too tough and chewy.
She marveled at the sheer industriousness of how we deal with bulk purchases. We get down right away and portion the food into serving sizes. We know that you pay more for the convenience of packaged food, so we use that time to bond. It takes less and less time as we become more proficient at the tasks. Counting baby carrots, one cup of Cheerios, 1/4 cup of nuts and dried fruit. All dutifully packed into sandwich bags. It makes packing lunch much easier. It is an awesome sight to see all that food being prepped. My mother wondered aloud about how often we go through such an exercise. The "big" trip is once a month, followed by a smaller trip a few weeks later.
By Tuesday my mother complained about not having a "real meal" since her arrival. I
was off Wednesday and Thursday, so I cooked. We asked my mother if there was anything that she wanted, so we could get it and make it for dinner one night. She asked for cabbage and corn bread. OK, I can do that. Wednesday was ground turkey and beef with tomato, garlic and Italian seasoning, cabbage Ala Coley, and corn bread. It was tasty. When I asked my mother how she liked the meal she said, "It is better than last night." While sitting next to the person that has prepared the food the night before, that I really loved by the way. I couldn't wait to get her alone to tell her just how rude that comment was. Daughter as mother, full circle.
I actually don't mind hearing that someone doesn't like something I've made. It gives me a chance to tweak the recipe a little bit.
Now she wants to go check on her house. Two hours away! ONE WAY! I get tired just thinking about that drive. She apparently wants to see that her house is alright. Though the last time she was here, she didn't worry. Now she's upset with me because I won't spend my day off in the road so she can see her house for herself. I called my brother who lives an hour from her house and asked if he would check on it for her and he agreed. She's not satisfied and will probably pout all day. Mother as daughter, full circle.
I'll get her out to a BINGO game next week and she'll be alright. I'll set the babies on her and hope that she enjoys the distraction.
More to come...
Speaking of customer service. My mother has been here at Ches Coley for a week. She has been the hardest guest to please!
The timing of her arrival sucked because I needed to stock up on about everything.
She got here Saturday. My sister took my large vehicle so all of her misc. equipment could be transported from 130 miles away to my home. Meanwhile, I was put on the side of the road by my P.O.S. car ("piece of shit", for those unfamiliar with the expression) with a flat tire, broken axle arm and the startling realization that I was not getting to work any time soon. After a few phone calls and a couple of good Samaritans that couldn't actually help, the car got to the shop where I was not surprised by the total cost of the repairs. Bye Bye Emergency Fund.
I got home from work to find that my daughters have done me proud. My house is clean, my babies are in the bed and my mother has yet to arrive. She was not ready when they got there to pick her up. She said that she wouldn't be, and I tried to tell her that wouldn't be a good idea. People are driving 2 hours to get her and bring her to me. She didn't listen. She's 72 years old, bless her heart, and she will not be rushed. It's self-torture to try.
She got here so late that a light snack was all that was served. We got her as settled as we could at 10pm and relaxed while I waited for the other shoe to drop. It did the next day.
We got up and prepared breakfast for the family; when you have two toddlers in the house they don't care what day it is. They have to get up, be fed and entertained. We had to work it out with what was in the house for breakfast. I'm pretty good at working things out; No one went hungry.
I left my mother and sons in the care of my 15 year old daughter while I took my 13 year old with me and the One to get food for the house and other needed supplies. We were gone about an hour when my mother called me on my cell phone to ask if we had a plunger. "Why? What happened?" was my worried response. "I just need one." was her reply. Lord! Please don't tell me that I am going to come home to a flooded bathroom. I called my daughter back and asked her what was going on. She had no idea. My mother hadn't said anything to her about needing a plunger. I told her to look in the bathroom and give me a status report. All is clear. OK. Off to Costco!
After completing our run of the Costco and having a snack to keep me from passing out from starvation and dehydration, my cell phone rang again. "I'm hungry" my irritated mother said. "There's nothing to eat here." "We'll be home soon. I'll bring you something to eat."
Let me stop and tell you something about my home's food situation. There is very little quick and easy food. There are various components that can be combined in different ways to create a meal or snack. It is that way by design. There is fresh fruits, vegetables and always tuna, salmon and chicken for salads. You need imagination to eat in my house.
I brought her a turkey wrap. She said that the wrap was too tough and chewy.
She marveled at the sheer industriousness of how we deal with bulk purchases. We get down right away and portion the food into serving sizes. We know that you pay more for the convenience of packaged food, so we use that time to bond. It takes less and less time as we become more proficient at the tasks. Counting baby carrots, one cup of Cheerios, 1/4 cup of nuts and dried fruit. All dutifully packed into sandwich bags. It makes packing lunch much easier. It is an awesome sight to see all that food being prepped. My mother wondered aloud about how often we go through such an exercise. The "big" trip is once a month, followed by a smaller trip a few weeks later.
By Tuesday my mother complained about not having a "real meal" since her arrival. I
was off Wednesday and Thursday, so I cooked. We asked my mother if there was anything that she wanted, so we could get it and make it for dinner one night. She asked for cabbage and corn bread. OK, I can do that. Wednesday was ground turkey and beef with tomato, garlic and Italian seasoning, cabbage Ala Coley, and corn bread. It was tasty. When I asked my mother how she liked the meal she said, "It is better than last night." While sitting next to the person that has prepared the food the night before, that I really loved by the way. I couldn't wait to get her alone to tell her just how rude that comment was. Daughter as mother, full circle.
I actually don't mind hearing that someone doesn't like something I've made. It gives me a chance to tweak the recipe a little bit.
Now she wants to go check on her house. Two hours away! ONE WAY! I get tired just thinking about that drive. She apparently wants to see that her house is alright. Though the last time she was here, she didn't worry. Now she's upset with me because I won't spend my day off in the road so she can see her house for herself. I called my brother who lives an hour from her house and asked if he would check on it for her and he agreed. She's not satisfied and will probably pout all day. Mother as daughter, full circle.
I'll get her out to a BINGO game next week and she'll be alright. I'll set the babies on her and hope that she enjoys the distraction.
More to come...
Friday, October 31, 2008
Adventures in the Kitchen, a note from a "Mad" Scientist
Soy flour is not good for frying. My last kitchen experiment proved this to be true. If I'd read a little about soy flour I would have saved myself some time and frustration. I don't like to fail when I cook. So after my disappointing "Soy experiment" I decided to bake up about 5 dozen chocolate chip cookies. They turned out just as I expected. Excellent!
I want to prepare savory food, but I always end up with the sweets. The holidays are approaching and I've been dusting off my favorite recipes. Banana Nut Bread, Chocolate Chip cookies with walnuts, sweet potato bread and pies. Next week's experiment will be another savory one. You have to be careful when you experiment with food. You have to eat your mistakes. Food is too expensive for all of that!
Thanksgiving will be in town for me this year. I have to work the day after so I am not straying to far from home base. It won't be at my house, but I will cook. Oh and will I cook! I actually feel excited about it. I have a cornbread recipe that will be wonderful for the stuffing, and I can do a great squash casserole. All within my plan to eat like I've got some sense.
I love the fall. The time of harvest. It makes me think of abundance. Even in these tough economic times. I am blessed to be able to put food on my table and socks on my children's feet. (Because we are not turning on that darn heat. I don't work for Duke Energy or whatever they are called now.) I bake when the weather gets cool. The heat is a comfort and the smells of cinnamon, sugar and butter fill the house. My daughters help me cook and bake. It is a time to create wonderful memories to last a lifetime.
I weighed today, but I couldn't read the scale. I don't know what the point of that exercise was. The scale was broken and the place I normally go to weigh was closed. I want to weigh on the same scale week after week. I want to trust that one scale will keep the other scales from lying to me. I think I lost weight, but I'm not sure. Since I feel like, I will believe it until that lying contraption tells me otherwise. I said that I would purchase a scale for at home use once I got down to 350. I ain't there yet. So for now I'll head to the "office" and weigh on Thursdays. I will try on the jeans tonight and see what progress we are making. When I am able to get those jokers on, it will be a whole new ball game! As a matter of fact the scream of utter satisfaction should be heard around the world!
More to come...
I want to prepare savory food, but I always end up with the sweets. The holidays are approaching and I've been dusting off my favorite recipes. Banana Nut Bread, Chocolate Chip cookies with walnuts, sweet potato bread and pies. Next week's experiment will be another savory one. You have to be careful when you experiment with food. You have to eat your mistakes. Food is too expensive for all of that!
Thanksgiving will be in town for me this year. I have to work the day after so I am not straying to far from home base. It won't be at my house, but I will cook. Oh and will I cook! I actually feel excited about it. I have a cornbread recipe that will be wonderful for the stuffing, and I can do a great squash casserole. All within my plan to eat like I've got some sense.
I love the fall. The time of harvest. It makes me think of abundance. Even in these tough economic times. I am blessed to be able to put food on my table and socks on my children's feet. (Because we are not turning on that darn heat. I don't work for Duke Energy or whatever they are called now.) I bake when the weather gets cool. The heat is a comfort and the smells of cinnamon, sugar and butter fill the house. My daughters help me cook and bake. It is a time to create wonderful memories to last a lifetime.
I weighed today, but I couldn't read the scale. I don't know what the point of that exercise was. The scale was broken and the place I normally go to weigh was closed. I want to weigh on the same scale week after week. I want to trust that one scale will keep the other scales from lying to me. I think I lost weight, but I'm not sure. Since I feel like, I will believe it until that lying contraption tells me otherwise. I said that I would purchase a scale for at home use once I got down to 350. I ain't there yet. So for now I'll head to the "office" and weigh on Thursdays. I will try on the jeans tonight and see what progress we are making. When I am able to get those jokers on, it will be a whole new ball game! As a matter of fact the scream of utter satisfaction should be heard around the world!
More to come...
Friday, October 24, 2008
Grief doesn't help keep the weight off.
I'm still fat. The only thing is that is weigh more than I did two weeks ago. I've had to recommit to myself to stay on track. I've gained like 8 lbs in the past 2 weeks. I'm sad about it. I want to be sick about it, but I can't. It's not like I was forced to eat bad things. Most of it is from being dehydrated. I haven't been drinking enough water. That has got to change. It is changing.
I went for my weekly weigh and measure and still lost some inches. That is what keeps me going. I was on a streak for a while and was posting weight loss every week. Two and a half weeks ago my friend passed suddenly and it's been surreal ever since. I miss being told, "You look good baby!" and "Keep it up. You'll be skinny before you know it." It is a good thing I can still hear his voice in my head. I miss my Cliff.
My saving grace right now is the "One." He has been extremely understanding and has worked very hard to bust me out of the shell I like to build around myself when I am unhappy. I'm still sad, but only because I'm selfish. Then I am thankful for the many blessings that abound within my life and I move on.
I'm drinking my water. I'm eating my fresh food. I'm going to get into those jeans in my closet! I have clothes in my closet that I refuse to give away because I am determined to get into them. I've started parking at the back of the parking lot and moving with purpose when I walk. When the sun is shining or if it's cold and raining, I tell myself that those that are not with me are in the wind.
Excuse me while I drink this water...
I went for my weekly weigh and measure and still lost some inches. That is what keeps me going. I was on a streak for a while and was posting weight loss every week. Two and a half weeks ago my friend passed suddenly and it's been surreal ever since. I miss being told, "You look good baby!" and "Keep it up. You'll be skinny before you know it." It is a good thing I can still hear his voice in my head. I miss my Cliff.
My saving grace right now is the "One." He has been extremely understanding and has worked very hard to bust me out of the shell I like to build around myself when I am unhappy. I'm still sad, but only because I'm selfish. Then I am thankful for the many blessings that abound within my life and I move on.
I'm drinking my water. I'm eating my fresh food. I'm going to get into those jeans in my closet! I have clothes in my closet that I refuse to give away because I am determined to get into them. I've started parking at the back of the parking lot and moving with purpose when I walk. When the sun is shining or if it's cold and raining, I tell myself that those that are not with me are in the wind.
Excuse me while I drink this water...
Where are the Spoons?! ~Small kitchen rant.
I love setting a table. There is something that I feel validates me as a woman in it. Sitting around a table with family eating from "real" dishes and using spoons, forks and knives. I'd gotten away from that practice and have recently been working on doing the things that make me happy.
I once had a service for 4 of dishes and a set of "silver" that matched to go along with it. We would set out the place mats, napkins, plates, put the food in the middle, sit in chairs and eat together with the television off. It was great!
Life has really been happening to me in the past 5 years and that practice fell by the way. In that time also, the Gremlins have discovered that my spoons are tasty. When my family started to grow, we invested in expanding the silver to a service for 20 or so. Now, when we wash all the dishes, utensils and the like, I can look in the drawer and see 4 spoons! What!? There are 20 forks, 25 butter knives and 4 spoons!
My mother, God bless her, gave us 8 spoons recently and now we are down to 8 spoons. *sigh* I counted.
I don't know what is happening to them. They are the most used utensil in the house, having 2 toddlers eating everything with a spoon. I really think that they are throwing them in the trash on their way to put their dishes in the sink. I'm not missing any dishes though.
Seven years ago, before moving closer to family, I used to clean the kitchen at night. I would tuck in my little girls and then tackle my kitchen. I remember it vividly, more so than any kitchen I've ever had. It was a cubbie hole. I would have to leave the kitchen if anyone, even one of my little girls, wanted something out of the kitchen. There was no counter space and I recall the dishwasher and oven couldn't be opened at the same time because they were very close together. Some nights I would talk on the phone to my mother who would complain about the noise I was making with the dishes. I would scrub the stove top and clean out under the eyes. I mopped and wiped down the cabinet doors. The kitchen was always a 10 minute job, but I would take about an hour. I made sure that everything was clean. I would take great satisfaction in looking into that little shoe box of a space and thinking, "All clean."
Now? I want to know where my spoons are! In the grand scheme of things, I can say that my worries are few. I still want to know where my spoons are. They didn't run away with the dishes. The dishes are still here. At least those that have not fallen victim to butter fingered adolescents and gravity. Maybe they ran away, distraught over the loss of the lovely dishes. Knowing that they will never be together again.
If you're ever out and happen to see the odd miscellaneous spoon. Tell it that it is missed. We have new dishes for it to meet.
I once had a service for 4 of dishes and a set of "silver" that matched to go along with it. We would set out the place mats, napkins, plates, put the food in the middle, sit in chairs and eat together with the television off. It was great!
Life has really been happening to me in the past 5 years and that practice fell by the way. In that time also, the Gremlins have discovered that my spoons are tasty. When my family started to grow, we invested in expanding the silver to a service for 20 or so. Now, when we wash all the dishes, utensils and the like, I can look in the drawer and see 4 spoons! What!? There are 20 forks, 25 butter knives and 4 spoons!
My mother, God bless her, gave us 8 spoons recently and now we are down to 8 spoons. *sigh* I counted.
I don't know what is happening to them. They are the most used utensil in the house, having 2 toddlers eating everything with a spoon. I really think that they are throwing them in the trash on their way to put their dishes in the sink. I'm not missing any dishes though.
Seven years ago, before moving closer to family, I used to clean the kitchen at night. I would tuck in my little girls and then tackle my kitchen. I remember it vividly, more so than any kitchen I've ever had. It was a cubbie hole. I would have to leave the kitchen if anyone, even one of my little girls, wanted something out of the kitchen. There was no counter space and I recall the dishwasher and oven couldn't be opened at the same time because they were very close together. Some nights I would talk on the phone to my mother who would complain about the noise I was making with the dishes. I would scrub the stove top and clean out under the eyes. I mopped and wiped down the cabinet doors. The kitchen was always a 10 minute job, but I would take about an hour. I made sure that everything was clean. I would take great satisfaction in looking into that little shoe box of a space and thinking, "All clean."
Now? I want to know where my spoons are! In the grand scheme of things, I can say that my worries are few. I still want to know where my spoons are. They didn't run away with the dishes. The dishes are still here. At least those that have not fallen victim to butter fingered adolescents and gravity. Maybe they ran away, distraught over the loss of the lovely dishes. Knowing that they will never be together again.
If you're ever out and happen to see the odd miscellaneous spoon. Tell it that it is missed. We have new dishes for it to meet.
Friday, October 17, 2008
On the path, views from the road to my ideal size.
I have been fat for at least 23 years. I remember being teased about my weight when I was small and looking back at the pictures, I was not fat! I was a john brown child for Pete's sake.
I am now a grown woman with 4 children and type 2 diabetes. I have been diabetic for nearly 9 years now. The diagnosis was a shock for me as it came on my birthday of all days. I ended up staying in the hospital for a couple of days and really feeling like my head was swimming from everything that was thrown at me in that time and feeling like I was just set free to figure it out all on my own. Have I? I'm still fat and diabetic, but I'm making some major headway.
Now I've always felt that you can eat your way past many physical maladies. Have a headache? Drink some water. In a bad mood, have some chocolate. Of course this theory assumes that one is capable of moderation. I lacked this very important trait for a very long time. Now? I'm getting it together.
At one time in the past 2 years, I weighed about 459. I weighed that much while pregnant with my second son, but gained that weight right back after he was born! I was so depressed and was about to just give up on myself. I didn't. I was complaining to my sister one day about how unhappy I was about my weight. She said that I know what I need to do to fix it, I just needed to do it. She was right. I do know. Doing it was the problem. I was convinced that I would have to lead a life of deprivation from tasty food and I would be hungry all the time. I was wrong.
About two months ago one of my friends came to stay with me for a little while. He'd lost about 60 lbs and I wanted to know how he did it. I asked him to tell me and he said. "Eat like you have some sense." I thought I was doing that and had lost some weight, but I wanted results like he had. When I got him to tell me specifically what he was doing, I balked. Fresh food? Nothing processed? Vegetables and fruit and fruit juice were the order of the day. NO BREAD?!? Come on! This was starting to sound like my fears realized. I was going to be fat the rest of my life!
I decided to check my attitude at the door and listen. I wanted to get my system cleaned out and my friend recommended a juice fast. As a diabetic, fasting is a bad idea. Juice was another one because of all the sugar in it. So I started thinking about other ways to clean my system out. I decided that I would look into having my colon cleansed. I found a wonderful colon hydro therapist in my city and made an appointment. I read a lot online about the pros and cons of colonics and decided that the pros would get me headed in the right direction. I will spare you the unpleasant details, but I am pleased with the results. I'd been keeping a food diary in the hopes of having someone look at it to give me some more direction about what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. A month ago I had someone do that for me. Do you know what she told me? "You're eating too many carbohydrates. A lot of bread. It is keeping you from meeting your goals."
DAG NABBIT! (yeah, I'm from the South)
My friend was right so I had to go home with a fork in hand to eat a huge plate of crow. Bye Bye Bread. I have not looked back. Bread isn't completely gone, but three slices in a week is much less than my average four to five slices a day. I'm down to 390 now and still headed in the right direction. Fresh fruit and vegetables are on the menu now. We LOVE the farmer's market. I can get the food I like and find something new to try. Spaghetti Squash has replaced "real" spaghetti in my house. The meat sauce is creative and varied. Chunky with tomatoes, green peppers, onions, zucchini and ground meat.
I have committed myself to losing 10lbs a month. A very reasonable goal considering the actual amount of weight I have to lose overall. I have not added exercise other than walking right now. I will write once a month about my experience and hope that it helps others.
Stay tuned.....More to come!
Coley.
I am now a grown woman with 4 children and type 2 diabetes. I have been diabetic for nearly 9 years now. The diagnosis was a shock for me as it came on my birthday of all days. I ended up staying in the hospital for a couple of days and really feeling like my head was swimming from everything that was thrown at me in that time and feeling like I was just set free to figure it out all on my own. Have I? I'm still fat and diabetic, but I'm making some major headway.
Now I've always felt that you can eat your way past many physical maladies. Have a headache? Drink some water. In a bad mood, have some chocolate. Of course this theory assumes that one is capable of moderation. I lacked this very important trait for a very long time. Now? I'm getting it together.
At one time in the past 2 years, I weighed about 459. I weighed that much while pregnant with my second son, but gained that weight right back after he was born! I was so depressed and was about to just give up on myself. I didn't. I was complaining to my sister one day about how unhappy I was about my weight. She said that I know what I need to do to fix it, I just needed to do it. She was right. I do know. Doing it was the problem. I was convinced that I would have to lead a life of deprivation from tasty food and I would be hungry all the time. I was wrong.
About two months ago one of my friends came to stay with me for a little while. He'd lost about 60 lbs and I wanted to know how he did it. I asked him to tell me and he said. "Eat like you have some sense." I thought I was doing that and had lost some weight, but I wanted results like he had. When I got him to tell me specifically what he was doing, I balked. Fresh food? Nothing processed? Vegetables and fruit and fruit juice were the order of the day. NO BREAD?!? Come on! This was starting to sound like my fears realized. I was going to be fat the rest of my life!
I decided to check my attitude at the door and listen. I wanted to get my system cleaned out and my friend recommended a juice fast. As a diabetic, fasting is a bad idea. Juice was another one because of all the sugar in it. So I started thinking about other ways to clean my system out. I decided that I would look into having my colon cleansed. I found a wonderful colon hydro therapist in my city and made an appointment. I read a lot online about the pros and cons of colonics and decided that the pros would get me headed in the right direction. I will spare you the unpleasant details, but I am pleased with the results. I'd been keeping a food diary in the hopes of having someone look at it to give me some more direction about what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. A month ago I had someone do that for me. Do you know what she told me? "You're eating too many carbohydrates. A lot of bread. It is keeping you from meeting your goals."
DAG NABBIT! (yeah, I'm from the South)
My friend was right so I had to go home with a fork in hand to eat a huge plate of crow. Bye Bye Bread. I have not looked back. Bread isn't completely gone, but three slices in a week is much less than my average four to five slices a day. I'm down to 390 now and still headed in the right direction. Fresh fruit and vegetables are on the menu now. We LOVE the farmer's market. I can get the food I like and find something new to try. Spaghetti Squash has replaced "real" spaghetti in my house. The meat sauce is creative and varied. Chunky with tomatoes, green peppers, onions, zucchini and ground meat.
I have committed myself to losing 10lbs a month. A very reasonable goal considering the actual amount of weight I have to lose overall. I have not added exercise other than walking right now. I will write once a month about my experience and hope that it helps others.
Stay tuned.....More to come!
Coley.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thoughts on life and death
Ever since my grandfather passed away when I was eight years old, I've associated food with memories of loved ones. I didn't understand much back then. I was rather sheltered and didn't know much about what was going on. I remember a lot of family together and a lot of food.
I grew up in a big family so we cooked a lot. I remember cooking with my father as a very young person. The holiday season was a busy one. My father backed pies, my sister baked cakes and I was a little helper. I grabbed all manner of needed tools and was rewarded with a chance to hold the mixer or a taste of the treats that were being created.
When my father passed away in 2003 I wanted to create those memories of baking and preparing food with my children. I went to one of my favorite recipe sites and found a recipe for banana nut bread. I rounded up the ingredients and my daughters and together we made 2 loaves of banana nut bread. A Coley family tradition was born. We've made cakes, cookies, cup cakes, banana bread, sweet potato bread, pecan pies, empenadas and all manner of baked sweets. In those times we are laughing and I have shared stories with them about their grandfather, grandmother, aunts and uncles. The prepared food is then shared with friends and family. I have come to use the preparation of food as a means of coping with change, loss and sadness.
A dear friend, Superman, passed away this week. It was sudden and I still can't believe it. His real name was Cliff. It was no secret that he was a "Super" Man. It's funny how we see someone everyday and become so accustomed to their presence and when it suddenly isn't there anymore, it hurts. He taught me how to play at work. He made it easy to go to work when I didn't really want to and hard not to go to work when I couldn't. He is a light that will shine on in the lives of those he touched. He was always so busy, but never too busy for me. I thank God for the chance to have him be in my life for the time he was. He always had a smile for me so I traded him one of mine. He made a choice to be happy and to choose his attitude everyday. I want to do that too. As I prepare to say my final goodbye, I will choose to be happy that I knew him rather than sad that he's gone.
I grew up in a big family so we cooked a lot. I remember cooking with my father as a very young person. The holiday season was a busy one. My father backed pies, my sister baked cakes and I was a little helper. I grabbed all manner of needed tools and was rewarded with a chance to hold the mixer or a taste of the treats that were being created.
When my father passed away in 2003 I wanted to create those memories of baking and preparing food with my children. I went to one of my favorite recipe sites and found a recipe for banana nut bread. I rounded up the ingredients and my daughters and together we made 2 loaves of banana nut bread. A Coley family tradition was born. We've made cakes, cookies, cup cakes, banana bread, sweet potato bread, pecan pies, empenadas and all manner of baked sweets. In those times we are laughing and I have shared stories with them about their grandfather, grandmother, aunts and uncles. The prepared food is then shared with friends and family. I have come to use the preparation of food as a means of coping with change, loss and sadness.
A dear friend, Superman, passed away this week. It was sudden and I still can't believe it. His real name was Cliff. It was no secret that he was a "Super" Man. It's funny how we see someone everyday and become so accustomed to their presence and when it suddenly isn't there anymore, it hurts. He taught me how to play at work. He made it easy to go to work when I didn't really want to and hard not to go to work when I couldn't. He is a light that will shine on in the lives of those he touched. He was always so busy, but never too busy for me. I thank God for the chance to have him be in my life for the time he was. He always had a smile for me so I traded him one of mine. He made a choice to be happy and to choose his attitude everyday. I want to do that too. As I prepare to say my final goodbye, I will choose to be happy that I knew him rather than sad that he's gone.
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