Thoughts on life and death

Ever since my grandfather passed away when I was eight years old, I've associated food with memories of loved ones. I didn't understand much back then. I was rather sheltered and didn't know much about what was going on. I remember a lot of family together and a lot of food.

I grew up in a big family so we cooked a lot. I remember cooking with my father as a very young person. The holiday season was a busy one. My father backed pies, my sister baked cakes and I was a little helper. I grabbed all manner of needed tools and was rewarded with a chance to hold the mixer or a taste of the treats that were being created.

When my father passed away in 2003 I wanted to create those memories of baking and preparing food with my children. I went to one of my favorite recipe sites and found a recipe for banana nut bread. I rounded up the ingredients and my daughters and together we made 2 loaves of banana nut bread. A Coley family tradition was born. We've made cakes, cookies, cup cakes, banana bread, sweet potato bread, pecan pies, empenadas and all manner of baked sweets. In those times we are laughing and I have shared stories with them about their grandfather, grandmother, aunts and uncles. The prepared food is then shared with friends and family. I have come to use the preparation of food as a means of coping with change, loss and sadness.

A dear friend, Superman, passed away this week. It was sudden and I still can't believe it. His real name was Cliff. It was no secret that he was a "Super" Man. It's funny how we see someone everyday and become so accustomed to their presence and when it suddenly isn't there anymore, it hurts. He taught me how to play at work. He made it easy to go to work when I didn't really want to and hard not to go to work when I couldn't. He is a light that will shine on in the lives of those he touched. He was always so busy, but never too busy for me. I thank God for the chance to have him be in my life for the time he was. He always had a smile for me so I traded him one of mine. He made a choice to be happy and to choose his attitude everyday. I want to do that too. As I prepare to say my final goodbye, I will choose to be happy that I knew him rather than sad that he's gone.