Yikes! My bad!

I can't believe that it has been so long since I've posted. I was reading a blog that I follow and thinking, "I've been doing good to post on mine. Wait! I haven't posted in almost two months! Crap!"

Well life has been busy. The summer is here and my children's school year is over so now I have them to keep me company when I should be sleeping. Working til 3 a.m. is nuts when your children get up like the military. 5 a.m. and the troops are on the move. I love the faces people make when I tell them that my children get up at 5 in the morning. It's like they can't understand why. Children love chaos, they need order.

Life has been happening since I last wrote. I started dating, sort of. I stopped dating, for real. I've been working my business and then business fell off a little bit. Now it is starting to pick up again. I am thinking about investing in some catering supplies. My business has been presented with some opportunities to network. I am still trying to figure out what my next steps need to be. I had the conversation today so I am still thinking on it and I'm going to pray on it before I go to sleep tonight.

I think that my life is like a tide. Ebb and flow of the water. Things are a little hectic for a bit then they calm down. My business is cranking with three orders a week for a month or so and then no orders for a few weeks. It worked out great because those weeks were when things were a little crazy. I am so blessed.

I have been trying to be my house in order. Mostly tackle my clutter. I want to be able to have company on short notice and not feel anxious about what my house looks like. It is a process, but I will not let my anxiety keep me from welcoming an unexpected guest.

I will be attending a family reunion this weekend. It is my father's family. I have not attended one of theirs in a while. It is so hard to be around them because they look like him and sound like him. It is surreal. I am hoping for a nice time. It will be a nice way to kick off my children's visit with my mother. They will be visiting for a few weeks and we are all going somewhere together before they stay with her to spend their summer quality time.

I will get something else written soon to share. Until then...More to come.

Poem: Does it Bother You?

Does it bother you not to hear my voice?

Do the sweet vibrations of my vocal cords sweetly saying your name, calling you names and calling your name as I.................sigh, remember your touch, make you remember the way my skin feels on your skin?

Do you think about me when you are angry? Rage against the world that saddens me.

Does it bother you that what I want to do to you is so much more than physical? Knowing that you miss me as much as I miss you, but I won't admit it. For now.

Does it bother you that I am the way I am with you because of the way you are with me? No disguise, no game, no judgement, just good times.

Does it bother you to let me go because you think without you I'm free?

Or could it be.....

I don't want to talk to you, I want to see you. I want to make you smile. I love it when you fight it.

I know that you can feel the something special in me, but you don't know what it is. Laughter is easy around you and I can't help but smile.

Know that when you let me go, I will come back as long as your arms are open to receive me.

Does it bother you that we still may never be?

Creative Ramble

Creatively speaking I have been all over the place lately. I've been writing, cooking, experimenting in the kitchen and I have even been playing around with the prospect of producing a CD. No, not singing.
I know enough that I can't sing. I can hum and occasionally I may be able to make a pretty sound, but I am smart enough to know that is not singing. So I keep it to the confines of a room full of people or church where the sound is masked my those much more capable than me in the creation of consistent lovely tones.

My voice is my clay today. Saying words in different ways like playing with a slinky as it goes up and down. Playing with my breath, creating pauses and hoping it all comes together to make a discernible picture. I feel like I'm playing with finger paint, and hoping someone else can see what I am slapping on the paper. Do you?

If I could do something with this, I would have a spot where I could make all of the food that my imagination calls for and in a space that people could come to hear and be heard.

I am in the process of putting together something, but it is still in the planning stages. I hope to share more soon.

I was thinking the other day that I write this blog like I have so many readers. I appreciate the fact that you take the time to read what I write. One reader on one million, the words are still the same and I hope you enjoy!

Peace and Blessings! More to come....

Poem: Edible Chocolate Fantasy

I LOVE a challenge. Is that what you'll be? Chocolate poured all over me.

Dark and smooth, a voice so sweet. My edible chocolate fantasy.

The way you stir me up, temper me, with just the right amount of heat. Cool me til I shine, that's the best way to be. I'm for you and you're for me.

Or am I like ice cream? Cold as ice, sweet, mmmm, yeah that's it. Stick out your tongue and do that trick. Lick, Lick. (Motherfucker)

That look you get in your eye when you see me. Makes me think of an edible chocolate fantasy. The way you slide your arms around me, I melt. There is just no other way I can be. Covering you in my edible chocolate fantasy.

I am SO pleased to be...

But what are you to me? The chocolate to my peanut butter. The sugar to my taffy. My Decadent Distraction. So good, but probably not good for me.

Perceptive, adept , expressive and clever, I so want to figure you out. The way you turn a phrase, I am amazed at the subtle way you go about messing with my mind. I think somehow you've damaged me. So these words inside come spilling out.

YOU'RE SUCH A WRITER! You bring out the writer in me.

Your hot cocoa butter cream, caramel dream and though it seems. There is so much I want to know and some I'm scared to see. What are you like when you're not around me?

Hot dark chocolate, ready for me to dip my peanut butter. My heart starts to flutter when I remember the way you eat me.

120! Not boiling, but so hot. You've got my head spinning and juices, so sweet, flowing. Can you handle what's cookin' in this honey pot?

Hour after hour, we will devour the pieces of eachother we share. Could this be?

Edible.

Chocolate.

Fantasy.

I'm for you and you're for me.

Poem: Hostage

So you want to hold ME hostage? The thought makes my heart race. Held tight in your arms, bound by your passionate embrace.

Captivated and captured, for a time. Pushing to be free, but my desire is to be held. By you. I relent. Being detained, but not trapped, I am safe within your grasp.

I will be your hostage. Closed into your embrace. Bound by your gaze and calmed by your voice. Your hands like shackles on my wrists, holding me. I cannot run, no need to hide. I am here.

My desire for you is primal. Animalistic in its execution. Teeth on flesh, nails in skin. That spot..........that only you seem to be able to find. Feeling your hands in my hair, electricity courses through me. A whisper, a sigh and I try to break free. This moment is all that exists. Reality calls me back to it. Exhausted, I cannot return.

Gatekeeper, release me. My responsibilities beckon me and I must go. Fierce and dangerous, my release leaves you marked. Chained. I am in your thoughts.

I will let you hold me hostage...for as long as it takes ...until I have served my time...I want to be your hostage...for we are imprisoned in this pattern of life...love..spirit. Until I break free. Will you pursue? Try to capture me again for the things I do to you?

Does that make you think? Are you captive? Filling your mind with thoughts of my caresses. Binding you and locking you in a cell of the four walls of my touch, kiss, breath and bite. Isn't that right?

You are mine and I am yours, for a time. Captured by and for each other, until our time is up and we must part. Missing you, missing me, missing we and we must be apart.

Thieving time for a chased embrace and show of affection. The chase is on. Until that time when I am yours and you are mine. It's true.

I am your hostage? Take me now. I've already got you.